How to survive the death of a cat and cope with the pain of loss

My pet is a real member of the family, and when the cat suddenly died, it became somehow quiet, I wanted to howl in anguish. People threw a kitten covered in blood and for two nights he screamed from pain in his stomach, then he recovered and became the favorite of all household members for many years. Not all cats face death alone. The pet perceives dying as the language of the last farewell and, wanting to pay tribute to the family to which it has been a friend for many years, it dies in the arms of the owner with open eyes.

How to get rid of guilt after euthanizing an animal

Don't let guilt develop and poison your warm and kind memories of your pet.
Find excuses for yourself, try to explain to yourself, like a child, the need for this procedure and its good purposes. Do not deny your loved ones the opportunity to reassure you, listen to all the arguments. During periods of acute pain or depression, you may encounter an animal in need of help. What if this is a sign from your pet, an opportunity to make amends for your real or imaginary guilt, to receive his forgiveness? Take the chance:

• foster a lost cat or dog;
• try to find owners for a homeless creature;
• Volunteer at an animal shelter.

And if a homeless furry creature has touched some strings of your soul, then you both can help each other.

When is resuscitation required?

If your pet suddenly loses consciousness or his heart stops, the main thing is not to panic, but to try to provide him with first aid.

Remember, in this situation, minutes count and you can’t lose them! The further fate of the animal will depend on how quickly you begin to act.

Clinical death lasts only a couple of minutes and at this time there is still hope to save the four-legged friend, then biological death occurs, brain cells die and it is no longer possible to help.

How to understand the condition of an animal:

• see if your pet is conscious
• check pupil reaction to light
• determine the ability to breathe
• feel the pulse

If breathing stops, call a veterinarian immediately and begin artificial ventilation.

How to bury a pet, will it be possible to rebury it?

Owners of deceased pets are forced to decide how to bury their tailed family member. If the cat’s owner resorted to the procedure of euthanasia, the veterinary clinic will offer to bury it themselves, or, more precisely, cremate it. In other cases, in order to bury a cat, you will have to contact a veterinarian and act in accordance with his instructions.

Cremation of a cat In some municipalities, special places are allocated for the burial of pets. To bury a pet in such a cemetery, the owner must present a veterinary certificate in form No. 4. The animal's corpse will be opened, the cause of death will be determined, and if it was not the result of an infection, it will be buried without being burned. Otherwise, the body will be disinfected, cremated and only then buried.

It is impossible to rebury a pet without breaking the law. For violating the requirements of the law, a loving owner who buried his deceased pet in a yard or forested area risks paying a fine of 5,000 rubles.

How to relieve the suffering of a dying cat?

A seriously ill fluffy should place a tray near his bed so that he does not waste his remaining energy going to the toilet.
Illness or deterioration in the condition of a sick pet always comes unexpectedly. The doctor has diagnosed an incurable disease or there is an old cat in the house - it’s worth knowing how to help a dying pet. Feeling a loss of strength, the animal will look for a warm, cozy place and the owner needs to take care of this by laying a soft blanket. Often, a weakened pet is not able to get to the toilet; you need to place a tray next to it or lay down towels that will need to be changed frequently. If your cat is in severe pain, you can use painkillers or medicated ointments in consultation with your veterinarian. But the most important thing for a pet will be the care and affection of its owners in the last days of its life.

Observations from everyday life, outside the therapist’s office

Here is a small example of the natural development of the process of a person’s consistent adaptation to changes in the system (field) in which he finds himself. I watched a scene in which a heavy poplar branch suddenly fell on the roof of a car parked near a house in front of its owner’s eyes due to a slight wind. The branch broke the windshield and damaged the roof. The sequence of experiences of the car owner was an illustration of how successive experiences of loss are described.

At first he walked around the car in a daze and, it seems, could not believe what had happened. Then he began to say to the neighbors who had come running: “Well, how can it be, why was I so unlucky, because I wanted to leave half an hour ago and only accidentally stayed at home!” There was resentment and helplessness in his voice. All this time he touched and pulled his hands away from the branch, without even starting to remove the pieces of wood from the body of the car. Then after about three minutes he almost regained his balance and a sign of this was the developing aggressive pattern. He began swearing at the city authorities and began using obscene language. Here the female part of the audience dispersed, and the men supported him. And against the backdrop of this aggression, he began to drop branches. Then he stopped and became sad. He looked at the car again and said: “Well, what a pity, because I recently painted it!” Then he looked around and said to those who were helping to remove the branches: “There is no need to remove any more branches. I'll call the insurance company now

Suddenly it is important for them to testify to the cause of the damage. They need to pay for everything."

So, we see that the car enthusiast spontaneously went through the five phases of the process of separation and restoration of integrity. And we see the role and contribution of the environment in the fact that these stages were passed without destruction. The environment, in the form of the people and neighbors present, provided support. The neighbors talked and supported the expression of feelings at every stage.

A common example in counseling practice is stories about parting with loved ones. There are often reports that although a person has left the relationship, he retains his place in the soul of a woman or man. The incompleteness of relationships is a phenomenon of forced preservation of the system. A person tries to avoid separation and, due to his emotions, maintains integrity where this integrity no longer exists. “You’re breaking up, and he doesn’t seem to have promised anything, and there seems to be something.” Such everyday examples can provide an illustration similar to examples of loss and bereavement in situations that are traditionally considered causes of stress.

How to live on

It seems that the loss of a pet divides our lives into “before” and “after”. It's true: there will be changes, but these changes do not always mean bad things. The philosophical thought that helps me is that animals teach us many lessons and after the cat leaves, our task is to accept and learn these lessons.

The first instinct in the hope of numbing the pain may be the desire to get a new pet. Make this decision based on your emotional stability and willingness to care for your cat. A new animal will never replace the old one, but it can become your outlet and new love.

If you do not feel the desire to have a new pet, but feel the need for communication and contact with animals, offer your help at the shelter. For example, bring some food or medicine for the animals.

Toys and belongings of a deceased friend can be kept as keepsakes or disposed of. If they are dear to you and you feel that you are not ready to part with them, do not throw away these things, even if they open your wounds. Set them aside for a while and then decide what to do with them.

I like the video where a girl shares her story of living through the death of her pet. I hope it helps you too:

Causes of psychological trauma

Psychological trauma is now a scourge of society, because... Any problem that surfaces in any way is equated to psychological trauma. This is a very apt term for expressing some kind of dissatisfaction in everyday life. It happens that a person says something banally, and the answer is: “Don’t say that, I’m about to experience psychological trauma.” This is a very common term that has long gone beyond the boundaries of psychology and psychiatry, but even in general beyond the boundaries of some kind of psychological work and norm. This term has become so socially necessary and significant that such a phrase can be heard not only from adults, but also from children during games. After all, children are the first to capture and reflect the trends and needs of society with their unbiased perception.

Psychological trauma usually refers to an effect that has an impact on the psyche and refers to milder effects compared to mental trauma. Mental trauma carries a stressor, which affects the psyche in a certain way, affecting the state of the individual

It cannot be said that the causes of mental and psychological trauma are different; in fact, the boundaries of this topic are very blurred and depend only on the personality itself and its mental structure, since it is the perception of events that is very important, and not always their composition

There is a neurobiological concept of the impact of psychological trauma. This state is a subtype of response - a reaction that is formed in the form of a reactive response to some traumatic situation. Psychological trauma also has its own pathophysiological aspects of manifestation. It is believed that some influence is manifested in stimulating brain activity unnecessarily, which significantly overpowers the body's functioning. Hormonally, psychological trauma is accompanied by a powerful release of catecholamine hormones. Adrenaline and norepinephrine have the most powerful effects. And in general, the vegetative system is strongly activated.

External causes have a variety of manifestations. Psychological trauma also depends on internal factors; these are two key differences between the root causes of psychological trauma.

Psychological traumas are divided into several subgroups, which are divided for ease of classification:

• Situations that ultimately end up resulting in severe physical dysfunction and exhaustion. Especially such psychological traumas are formed as a result of sports exhaustion. Such burnout occurs among professional athletes, because when injured or exhausted, they simply lose their life purpose and are completely unable to cope with the need to continue their life path without sports, only remembering past achievements.

• Situations that are traumatic or catastrophic for life are a very strong cause for psychological trauma, especially if there were also physical injuries or watching someone die. Such situations as an example: plane crashes, accidents, natural disasters. Infectious diseases in susceptible individuals, as well as emergency and any surgery. Situations related to robberies, hooliganism, and malicious actions. Various types of injuries, especially those leaving tangible marks.

It cannot be said that only physical situations significantly affect an individual, leading to psychological trauma. Since the social role is very important, situations that involve social failures, complete failure or significant changes easily lead to psychological trauma. Also psychologically traumatic is the death of relatives and congenial people. Significant factors include loss of ability to work, work changes, various types of loss of means of comfortable living, and debt.

Sudden changes and events do not always cause psychological trauma. Sometimes these are chronic stressors, such as anhedonia, imprisonment, constant protracted conflicts on any side.

What can cause a critical condition:

• acute cardiovascular failure
• congenital pathologies of the heart, lungs, brain and spinal cord
• hypertension, stroke
• thrombus formation
• poisoning
• massive bleeding
• injuries of internal organs with their damage
• traumatic brain injury
• extensive burns
• drowning
• asphyxia
• sunstroke
• prolonged hypothermia
• electrical injury
• pain shock
• psycho-emotional overexcitation
• sudden death

How to get rid of guilt

An owner who believes that he is guilty of the death of his cat is the most difficult case in terms of adaptation to the “new” life. A few obvious arguments:

If your pet died a natural death from old age, it means he lived a long, joyful and fulfilling life. You are not God, everyone faces the same end of the road, so be glad that you were able to see your pet off and give him the last minutes of happiness.

If your pet passed away due to illness, this is a life experience. In the future, when helping homeless four-legged animals or bringing a new animal into your home, you will learn from personal experience. Even the most serious mistake must be accepted, realized and forgiven.

If you had to euthanize your pet, you acted mercifully. Thousands of people are in pain and live out their last days hating the whole world. Acting in the interests of the ward, overstepping your desires, is normal and correct.

Symptoms of bereavement

In addition to all the familiar reactions, such as tears and sadness, there are other manifestations of grief, which, if not known, can be mistaken for lack of concentration, eccentricity, and other qualities. Among the main manifestations of grief are the following:

1. Physiological. Physiological symptoms of acute negative experiences include a painful feeling of tightness in the chest area, a feeling of emptiness in the abdomen, spasms in the throat and the feeling of a lump stuck in it; A lump in the throat is an eternal companion of acute emotional experiences
2. Behavioral. A person experiencing grief often seems inconsistent and inattentive. His gaze can be described as absent, absent-minded. The inability to concentrate on business often irritates household members or colleagues, which leads to painful conflicts. Other manifestations include insomnia, which further increases absent-mindedness;
3. Cognitive. A grieving person may encounter unusual holes in his memory, confused thoughts that do not want to take on concrete shape. Difficulty focusing and concentrating is common. The person seems to be “not here”; Absent-mindedness always affects performance, which leads to additional conflicts
4. Emotional. The feeling of loneliness that accompanies people who have experienced loss is accompanied by a heightened awareness of their own helplessness, causeless anxiety and all-encompassing guilt, to which the person indulges.

Mr. Cat recommends: methods to help with stress

If your cat is stressed, the first step is to find and, if possible, eliminate the cause. Of course, some factors cannot be corrected, but it is quite possible to alleviate the condition, and the task of a caring owner is to help his pet.

In order to somehow mitigate the situation and neutralize the impact of stress factors, both psychological support methods and drug treatment can be used.

Psychological help

First of all, you need to try to help your pet psychologically. It is impossible for the sake of a cat to return to an old, already sold apartment, much less to revive a deceased owner. However, it is still possible to make the animal’s life easier.

Domestic cats, like people, need manifestations of love; they need to feel not only care, but also warmth and affection. For a pet, such manifestations are tactile contacts with a person. Not all of them like to sit in their arms, but if the animal prefers to spend its time in the arms of a person, then you need to provide it with this pleasure in full. Even those who don’t like to sit on their owner sometimes want to sit next to them and want to be petted.

Pets, of course, are not able to communicate verbally with humans, but it is no coincidence that these animals have a wide range of vocal signals. By making various sounds, they “talk” to a person, and they also need to be spoken to. Precisely with the voice. Of course, they don’t understand words, but they feel intonation perfectly. Therefore, it is necessary to express your love and tenderness for the cat with your voice, talking to it.

Most pets love a treat, and owners should pamper their animals more often if they are under stress. This way you can smooth out the situation and distract from your worries.

During necessary but unpleasant procedures, you need to reassure and support her: both tactilely, so that she feels supported, and with your voice.

Medication methods

If psychological assistance measures are insufficient, then you can try to help the animal with medication. Before giving any medications, your cat should be taken to a veterinarian and examined.

Today there is a large selection of stress relief products available for cats. To rid your animal of emotional problems, you can try various preparations with pheromones (these substances have a calming effect on the animal). They are available in the form of sprays, fumigators, and there are also special collars.

Catnip is sold in pet stores; this herb is also good for fighting negative emotions. It causes a surge of excitement, after which the cat calms down.

In some cases, when your pet's stress and anxiety levels are very high, your veterinarian may prescribe human antidepressants.

To calm and relax your pet, you can try aromatherapy. This method helps both people and animals, whose sense of smell is much better developed.

It is necessary to use essential oils and substances (in aroma lamps or in the form of special sticks) that have a sedative effect (lavender, neroli, ylang-ylang, bergamot, mint, cedar).

To prevent stress, you can use drugs that have a cumulative effect. If you know in advance about a trip to the veterinarian, hairdresser, moving, or other events that cause negative emotions in your pet, then you can prepare the animal by starting to give it sedatives ahead of time. In this case, he will cope with a stressful situation much easier.

Pay attention

Spend more time with your cat, brushing it, petting it, and playing with it. This will give your pet positive emotions with any changes in the house that she feels. Don't try to get a new pet right away. Although your cat will miss her long-time companion, she is unlikely to welcome a stranger if she is still upset about the loss. At such times, a new cat will only become an additional source of stress. Like many other animals, a cat needs time to sniff the dead body of a comrade. This can be a necessary part of the bereavement experience. So it may be helpful to bring the body of the euthanized cat home rather than having it cremated at the veterinarian's office. Whenever sudden changes in behavior occur, the veterinarian should examine the cat for any underlying physical problem. An animal psychologist can help with unresolved behavioral problems.

How to cope with the death of a pet?

Despite all the care and love, cats die

It doesn't matter whether it comes from illness, an accident or old age. A person hurts equally

He begins to blame himself for not showing enough attention and care, for not treating correctly, for not following up, and for allowing the tragedy to happen. Sometimes the longing for an animal is so strong that all daily activities are abandoned and sleep disappears.

It seems that your favorite cat is meowing and walking around the house. In this case, a person needs psychological help and support from loved ones. Unfortunately, not everyone perceives the death of a cat as a tragedy. Sometimes those around him do not understand how much the bereaved owner needs consolation, and do not give him the opportunity to speak out.

But it is dangerous to keep such painful thoughts to yourself. You definitely need to talk to someone who has experienced such grief or consult a psychologist.

How to survive the natural death of a pet from old age?

A cat that has lived in a house for more than ten years becomes a full-fledged member of the family, so its departure becomes a terrible blow for the owners. People react differently to the death of animals, but it leaves no one indifferent. The nature of the experiences depends on many factors, their strength is influenced by the age and character of the person. Children and sensitive people grieve much more intensely than adults and those with a stable psyche. The suffering of a lonely person is increased by the loss of the emotional support of his beloved cat.

The age and circumstances of the pet’s death are of great importance. The death of an animal from old age is an expected event. Older cats rarely die suddenly. Usually this is preceded by very specific symptoms that prepare the owner for the inevitable loss.

Some psychologists believe that before a person returns to normal life, he goes through several stages: denial, anger, guilt and acceptance of the inevitable. Others believe that the process proceeds in waves: the griefer’s feelings either weaken or intensify. It is impossible to influence the speed of this process; for everyone it has its own deadline. Some people return to a full life after a few weeks or months; others experience the pain of loss for several years.

You should not try to quickly forget your deceased four-legged pet. His memory must live on

It is important to be patient during this difficult period and give yourself exactly as much time as needed to heal your mental wound. You shouldn't look at photos of your deceased pet every day, but you shouldn't avoid remembering it in your family either.

The process of overcoming grief should be gradual and natural. We must clearly understand that the death of an elderly cat was inevitable, and rejoice that he lived a long and happy life, and all this thanks to a loving owner.

Causes of death of cats

The life of a cat depends on a number of factors, and the fact that it dies or dies is often the person’s fault. Centenarians live more than 20 years, but on average a cat dies at 14-16 years of age. Outdoor cats are prone to illness or injury and live up to 5 years. Mixing breeds to create a new species may have undesirable results. For example, kittens often die from mating British cats with other breeds. It is worth considering whether to get such pets, because the death of a cat is difficult to bear.

How to understand and what to do?

Caring for owners can make life easier for pets. If the cat did not die from injuries or die from illness, then timely treated disease gives a chance for a long life in good conditions. You can tell that a young cat is dying by watching her for a while. Your beloved playful cat can develop new habits with age, but sudden apathy, refusal to eat and a sleepy state should alarm you. If the cat is screaming in the toilet, blood is visible in the urine or feces, then the best decision would be to contact a veterinary clinic. The doctor will be able to determine the diagnosis, prescribe treatment in a timely manner and will not leave the animal to die.

Respiratory system

A person should be seriously wary if his pet begins to breathe from his stomach.
A change in breathing is a sign that the animal is not feeling well. Normally, a cat takes about 30 breaths. Deterioration of indicators occurs along with an increase in temperature, decreased immunity and pain. If breathing dominates in the abdomen, while the ribs move weakly, then this may be a congenital pathology or a chronic disease. In such cases, damage to the ribs, chest, spine or lungs is to blame. During breathing, the cat experiences pain and may die. Weak or intermittent breathing is one of the main causes of abnormalities in the body when a cat dies. Associated signs indicating the development of the disease:

• Bronchitis. Fever and dry cough.
• Allergy or foreign body. Swelling of the larynx.
• Injury. Difficulty moving, wounds on the body, lethargy.
• Pneumonia or heart disease. Wheezing in the chest.

Heartbeat

Normally, the pulse in cats is 100-130 beats per minute; in kittens it is slightly higher and amounts to 150-200 beats. To find out your pet's condition, you need to listen to the heart rate. This can be done with the palm of your hand, placing it on the sternum under the left paw, just below the shoulder blade. An intermittent pulse indicates the presence of an arrhythmia, and a difficult pulse indicates a malfunction of the cardiovascular system.

Lack of appetite

Weight loss due to a lack of appetite in an animal is one of the signs of its possible imminent death.
The appetite of pets means the state of their body. If a cat refuses food, the reason often lies in a disease of the internal organs, including oncology. It is worth paying attention to the appearance of the animal. Visible weight loss, apathy and dull fur indicate that the animal will soon die and needs to be saved.

Temperature

A decrease in body temperature should alert the owner, as this is characteristic of a dying organism. Normal temperature in adult cats ranges from 38.0 to 39.0 °C. A change in TT cannot depend on the environment, since a cat is a warm-blooded animal, and is a sign of a disturbance in the functioning of the body. To measure your pet's temperature, you need to purchase a special thermometer from a veterinary pharmacy, either a regular mercury thermometer or an electronic one. The procedure for measuring TT in animals is carried out in the rectum for 3-5 minutes. It is necessary to provide your pet with pain relief; to do this, simply lubricate the thermometer with thick cream or Vaseline.

Other signs

The comatose state usually ends in death for the animal.

• The death of a cat is inevitable if it lies in a coma. Due to insufficient body resources, after a couple of weeks the animal simply stops breathing. If a cat sleeps with its eyes closed the first and the next day, while breathing weakly, it means that it is in a state of dying.
• The mortality of a British kitten at a young age is quite common; the kitten dies from congenital anomalies, lack of vaccinations, or if the kids eat poor-quality food.

Why do cats go to die?

There is an opinion that cats feel their demise and leave the house. But if you believe this opinion, then why does a cat, when dying, cannot foresee sudden death and die under the wheels of cars. Most likely, cats go away to die of old age or illness and depression, because even a sick person wants to be left alone, and even more so an animal that does not understand the reasons for weakness and severe pain.

They say the pet feels like it’s dying and suddenly leaves the house so as not to upset its owners. But then animal corpses would be found somewhere. Often, cats found dead die from injuries incompatible with life. If a dead cat is thrown into the garden, you should not turn to magicians who will ward off trouble. Animals die for various reasons, you just need to pick up the corpse and bury it.

Many people believe that by passing away, cats take away misfortune from the family, but this has not yet been proven.

What are childhood psychotraumas and what do they lead to?

Trauma of “abandonment”

Occurs at an early age (from 0 to 1 year), in the absence or insufficient physical contact of the child with the mother. A small child does not yet separate himself from his mother, including physically, and the lack of contact causes severe anxiety and fear.

We are not talking here about the periodic absence of the mother, but about rather long moments of separation. For example, the practice of separating mother and child after childbirth, the nursery system from 10 months, long-term illness of the mother, etc.

What does it lead to?

It underlies addictions (in various manifestations) and psychosomatic disorders. A lack of basic confidence leads to constant doubts, fears, and difficulties in making choices.

Trauma of “rejection”

Occurs when communicating with a “cold” mother. Such a mother may be physically nearby, but not emotionally involved in the child’s life, not be in psychological contact with him. This may be due both to her current state (postpartum depression, conflicts with a partner, acute stress due to financial problems) and to her own neurotic traits.

What does it lead to?

To a feeling of uselessness, inability to express one’s feelings and be in close emotional relationships. If the child is a girl, then she can also grow up to be a “cold” mother.

Trauma of "deprivation"

It occurs when the child’s needs are ignored (parents do not respond to the child’s crying, devalue his fears, and do not take into account his psychological and physical characteristics). But this is not necessarily a lack of reaction - for example, an overprotective (overprotective) mother may ignore the child’s need for independence.

What does it lead to?

The habit of devaluing your needs, “deafness” to your body, lack of contact with desires (“I don’t understand what I really want”).

Trauma of "Betrayal"

It occurs when a child is disappointed with his parents, whom he idolized, most often we are talking about a parent of the opposite sex.

A feeling of betrayal occurs when a parent prefers someone else or simply “leaves” contact (into alcohol, work).

A variant of this trauma is the “dethronement trauma” (term A

Adler), which occurs in an older child at the birth of younger children who receive all the attention of their parents. Often the trauma of “deprivation” is also added here, when the child is suddenly asked to suddenly “grow up” and help in raising the younger ones.

What does it lead to?

Loss of a sense of trust, alienation or, conversely, attempts to please others. Hypercontrol (to foresee everything and avoid betrayal in the future).

The Trauma of Sexual Seduction

Occurs when adults use a child or adolescent to satisfy their sexual urges. One of the most severe and most often “repressed” traumas from consciousness.

What does it lead to?

Almost always causes serious emotional and sexual disorders.

Injuries associated with physical violence

They occur when a child is systematically abused by adults or other children.

What does it lead to?

To a chronic feeling of insecurity, addictions, victimized behavior (as an adult, a person may unknowingly enter into relationships in which violence or bullying will continue).

“Humiliation” injuries or narcissistic injuries

They arise when parents do not react positively to the child, as if conveying the message: “on your own, you are not good enough to deserve our love, you must live up to the image, function correctly.”

Our mentality has a tradition of scolding and shaming children a lot (for everything: from showing emotions to grades), so what was started by parents often continues in kindergarten and school.

What does it lead to?

To a constant feeling of inferiority, the desire to assert oneself through success (to finally prove one’s worth to parents), a constant background feeling of shame, intolerance to criticism and the desire to compete, including in personal relationships.

This list is far from complete, but I think even in it, almost every adult can find something that could have happened to him in childhood.

To put it another way: “the main thing is not what was done to us in childhood, but what we do now with this experience.”

Requests for help Write your story I was walking home from work and saw a cat lying down. It seemed to me that he was dead, but I looked closer, his eyes were open, he was breathing quickly, as if he was having convulsions, I realized that the cat’s agony was not reacting to anything. I don’t know how to write, I just thought it was better to stop the cat’s torment and killed him by hitting him on the head. Now I regret it so much, I just hate myself, because I always loved animals, but here I killed a cat with my own hands. I don’t know what to do, it’s just that all the time my hands are shaking before my eyes, I want to drink until I’m blue in the face and die somewhere. People passing by looked at me so much, because there was probably another way to help the cat, it would have been better if I had just passed by. I don’t know how to continue to live, I’m just a flayer, I’ll never forgive myself for this. I just don’t know what to do, I want to turn off my brain and forget myself, I’m a terrible person.

Richat, age: 23 / 07/10/2012

Responses:

A familiar situation. About 6 years ago, I locked a cat in a barn in winter. I was at my grandmother’s and it was cold outside. Then when I came to get him, it turned out that he was frozen and was crushed by a box, and I was a fool thinking of warming him up. I don’t judge you. Only God has his rights and they should be afraid of him. Take a hungry, unwanted kitten from the street and feed it, bathe it, keep it with you. You will save a life. You can say that you took that one, but you will save this kitten. Maybe it will feel better.

Lisa, age: 15 / 07/10/2012

hello, your situation is not simple, although for many it is obvious, on the contrary, I had a similar situation. you are tormented by remorse, it’s hard, but this is what happens, it means you’re a good person, you shouldn’t condemn yourself, you’ve already done it enough, it’s difficult, but there’s no other way, you’re not a flayer, you just wanted to make it easier to take into account the unfortunate animal, and perhaps if you had not done this, he would have suffered for a long time. it’s difficult, but we make a lot of mistakes in our lives, and I want you to imagine that that cat is grateful to you for what you did, for making his fate easier! Guy, the main thing is not to abuse alcohol and so on. you did it, it means it was necessary, everything will be fine! life teaches! so I wish you to realize this act and let go of this event, and everything will definitely be fine for you! I believe in you!

STAS, age: 22 / 07/10/2012

You did everything right. It is unlikely that there was another way to help him, and if there was, it would be for fabulous money and no one would have done it anyway, and you did not lisp with an unhappy expression on your face, watching him die, but eased his torment, this is compassion and help. You are not a terrible person, quite the opposite. Stop punishing yourself for something you can be proud of.

N., age: 18/10.07.2012

Richat, let go of the situation. You eased his suffering. You did the right thing to some extent. However - yes - a person should not kill, so it torments you. Do this - if you believe in God - ask mentally - from the bottom of your heart - for forgiveness from God - for what you did. If not, then the cat and people. Only sincerely - and this can be done several times until bad thoughts stop tormenting you. Then find an advertisement on the Internet where they are going to kill a cat or a cat - and take it for yourself. I think you're a good guy. Everything will be fine with you. But you don’t need to drink - it’s not worthy of a real man. The right thing to do as a man is to bravely overcome this situation. Conquer yourself.

Sveta, age: 30 / 07/11/2012

I completely agree with the review from N.

Sergey, age: 25 / 07/11/2012

Not many people are naturally capable of feeling this way, I’ll tell you honestly. With the cat, yes, it was awkward... But when assessing a situation, you always need to take into account not only the act itself, but also the intent. And yours is noble. It would be much worse if you passed by. So, as they rightly tell you, take a cat or kitten into your home and take care of it.

From Flame and Light, age: 23 / 07/11/2012

I don’t want to add fuel to the fire and aggravate your already difficult situation, but I’ll still say... forgive me. What moral right did you have to help someone die? At the same time, take sin on your soul and doom yourself to such torment. Everyone dies sooner or later. Animals are no exception. The cat didn’t have much left anyway and he wasn’t in pain - these were death throes (my cat died in my arms, she also had cramps), muscle contractions. In general, what you did was wrong and bad. At least you repent, thank God. Listen, I think you need to atone for your sin. Go help homeless animals - bring them food, feed them, give homeless people a home. I believe that your mental torment alone will not be enough. To kick a defenseless animal in the head... I'm sorry, but how did that come into your head??? After all, it’s clear that you seem to be a smart guy... In general, atone for your sin. I am not God, of course, to say so, but I am always on the side of offended animals.

Zlata, age: 25 / 07/11/2012

User N. wrote: “Stop beating yourself up for something you can be proud of.” I find it creepy and scary that today's youth are encouraged to be proud of killing an animal. What a nightmare... I’m not much older than the user, but in our world it’s common to be proud of the fact that you help animals: you drag street cats to the veterinarian (sometimes to put them to sleep in order to alleviate suffering, rather than kick a star in the head), you feed cats near your home. This is the standard... To be proud of having kicked the cat?...

Zlata, age: twenty-five / 07/11/2012

Sometimes help can be cruel, as in your case. What’s done is done, remember how a person could shoot his own wounded horse so that he would not suffer. Don’t worry, in any case, you didn’t pass by, and showed concern, even if that’s what you saved him from suffering. My advice is to take a kitten in memory of him in a shelter, and raise him, saying sometimes he had such a cat, he suffered, you live with me in memory of him, this is both an excuse and a reminder for you. I have such a cat at home, looking at her I remember that twenty years ago I did not treat a sick cat, my husband simply killed her with my permission, I lived with this for 18 years, but I adopted our BASYU from a shelter and I always remember that , and I allow everything to this. I sometimes call her Christ-happy cat. This is the story, don’t despair, do you really think it would be better to put him in a noose, you saved him from suffering, this is also help.

Olga, age: 51 / 07/11/2012

My God... I don’t even know how to support you. But since the job is done, what now... you won’t kick yourself in the head, you won’t alleviate the suffering. Therefore, ask God for forgiveness and help animals. let this story serve as a lesson to you.

VJ, age: not important / 07/11/2012

Hello! I couldn’t ignore your story... Especially after reading people’s reviews, sometimes overly harsh... It seems to me that you are a good person and love animals. It's hard to watch them suffer. For some reason, people don’t think about the fact that when they euthanize a hopelessly sick and suffering animal, it is essentially the same thing as murder. You are now tormented because you think that the cat could be cured. Of course, it was worth trying to take him to the veterinarian, but with a high degree of probability it would have ended in the same euthanasia. Therefore, most likely you really only saved him from suffering. But it’s very hard for you in your heart, I understand. Try to mentally talk to the deceased cat. Tell him what’s on your mind, why you did what you did and that you wanted to help. If you believe, go to church. Many people advised you to get a kitten - good advice, only if now it will not constantly remind you of what happened. Maybe after some time. I just beg you, live!

Anna, age: 24 / 07/11/2012

The only pleasant thing about this story is that your conscience still torments you. I think this will be a lesson for you for the rest of your life. It's nice that you realized what you did and now regret it. I think from now on you will think 1000000000000 times before doing something. I sincerely wish you good luck! Don’t be offended by me for my harsh words, let them be like a cold shower - remember them for a long time and wake up :)

A.L. , age: 41 / 07/11/2012

Well, first of all, I’m not going to justify this action, but here they wrote that one thing is nice, that your conscience torments you... this is very good, although maybe you won’t understand why now. it shows that you are still a good person. It’s just that unfortunately this is rare now. Of course, I had to find another way.. but I don’t blame you. good luck

Olga, age: 22 / 07/11/2012

Do not pay attention. Residents of megacities have little idea where they get their stuff, so it seems to them that since they haven’t killed anyone with their own hands, they are white and fluffy. Homeless animals appear because “compassionate” people throw them out onto the street instead of putting them to sleep. Christ killed a huge herd of pigs, and it was not a sin (Matthew 8:32, Mark 5:13, Luke 8:33). Judaism and Islam practice ritual killing of animals. And they even insult a person or do other evil to a person, but no one looks at it, and they feel sorry for the cats.

Sergey, age: 25 / 07/11/2012

You stumbled. Now your conscience is tormenting you and people are judging you like this. And you know, everything is right. I, too, would join those who consider your action to be a terrible act disguised as a noble goal. But let's think soberly, comrades. He can’t kill himself after the unfortunate animal he sent to the next world. He needs to continue his life. He is someone’s son, grandson, husband, maybe already a father... I would like this out-of-the-ordinary and ambiguous story to leave a mark on your life, Richat. Indeed, it is very pleasant that your conscience still torments you and you understand that you have made a huge mistake. When years have passed since this day, you will realize that your conscience did not gnaw at you in vain! Good luck to you!

no matter, age: 28 / 07/11/2012

I think you did the right thing! But then a suspicious thought crept into your mind, what if the people who were around and judging me were right? And you began to torment yourself. I myself am the same, I can’t pass by someone else’s grief on the street, and when I do, I’m tormented by my conscience. There was a case when I helped a drunk man, called an ambulance and stood next to him while he writhed in agony and people passed by and looked at me disapprovingly, saying that I was fiddling with this bag of d... ma. So stop being silly - you did a heroic thing!! You are a real man! And don’t listen to the women who unsubscribed here - for them, a blow means a bad one! Excuse me, but like when fishing, when you catch a fish and so that it doesn’t suffer, you hit it on the head and in a second it’s in a better world! And even more so, if the cat had convulsions, then most likely he was already dead and was simply twitching due to muscle contractions! Good luck! Continue in the same spirit, don’t pass by other people’s grief, not paying attention to what others say, and you will be rewarded!

Evgeniy, age: 27 / 07/12/2012

Dear Rishat! Don't worry. What is done is done. This cat was already dying; nothing could be done to help him. In fact, take yourself a little kitty and take care of her. She will trust and love you.

Lida, age: 32 / 07/12/2012

Personally, I agree and disagree with each of those who responded. Everyone expressed their point of view. Don’t be offended by anyone and listen to every response. I don’t have the right to condemn you either. Moreover, you repent. I am not God. But still I am more I support Zlata’s response, sorry. And I completely disagree with Sergei. Now, what, to justify the killing of an animal, even for noble purposes, by the fact that in Islam and Judaism they commit ritual killings of animals? I’m also somehow scared when people do this they reason..But the main thing is that you understood what you had done. Even if our responses were harsh to one degree or another, let them help you start a new life! Forgive yourself for this sin and shelter the kitten. Pray to God. Be closer to God. And also help homeless animals rather than simply tormenting yourself. I don’t guarantee that it will immediately feel better, but over the years you will understand a lot and look at the current situation with different eyes. I remembered one case that was told to me. One man in the dashing 90s raped and killed women. Then he was caught, convicted and released early. Now he serves in the mosque, he has taken the righteous path. Unlike you, Rishat, this man killed consciously, in cold blood, but he repented and now serves the Almighty. Try to take the the path is closer to God. I think that over time you will feel better. And with this you will atone for your guilt before the cat whom you helped die.

Aikosha, age: 35 / 07/13/2012

opinions differ.) in fact, you are really a hero. I was in a similar situation with a pigeon, it was dying in agony, but I didn’t finish it off. probably because they were looking at me. came up with a thousand and one excuses. but he still died, even in my opinion the crows ate him alive. You really are a hero and most likely did the right thing.

Vladimir, age: 27 / 07/14/2012

Sorry, Richat, I didn’t want to offend you with my response. Don’t think that I drew a parallel between you and the person I wrote about in my previous response. I just meant that even if that person started a new life and God Forgave him, then you all the more have the right to a chance to start a new life.

Aikosha, age: 35 / 07/14/2012

Vladimir, are you serious? In your opinion, is this heroism? I don’t think so. But if the author of the story realized what he had done, this can be called an act, heroism, but what he did can hardly be called heroism. Sorry.

Diana, age: 31 / 07/14/2012

You did everything right, others simply watched and did not dare to ease his torment! I had such a situation, but I didn’t have to “finish off” him; he stopped twitching himself, and I was already about to do it!

Vadim, age: 55 / 07/21/2012

Sorry, Richat, I also read the reviews here and they scare me: “You did everything right, well done!” I agree with the review that you, Rishat, had no right to decide whether the cat should live or not. Vadim’s last response unpleasantly struck me. Richat, the very fact that you realized what you did should atone for your guilt. God has forgiven you a long time ago. I don’t condemn you, but I don’t justify you either. Feed the animals, take a kitten and pray to God more often. This is, in my opinion, the only way out of the deadlock situation, which you, unfortunately, found yourself in. And laudatory odes are not appropriate here, don’t be offended. God help you!

Lavrenty, age: 56 / 07/24/2012

I would like your determination! I need to be proud of this. It’s a great thing to alleviate suffering

Dima, age: 44 / 10/23/2012

The situation is certainly not clear-cut. Any of us could find ourselves in a similar position. We will be faced with the question: “What to do? Walk by as if nothing had happened? or Try to help? How can you help if you (as it happens) are not a veterinarian?? Let everyone who reads my statement ask himself the question: “What would I do?” A few years ago, a friend of mine found himself in a similar situation. It was autumn. Evening. He left the entrance of his house, hurrying to work. and in the yard, in a puddle, he saw a dying dog. (presumably she was hit by a car) He didn’t pass by, he picked the dog out of the puddle, loaded it into his car and rushed at full speed to the local veterinarian. And what would you think??…. There were no doctors on duty there. And my friend’s request to leave the wounded animal to specialists was denied. By that time, the unfortunate animal was fighting in terrible agony. And my friend had to make a decision... Not an easy one... He thought it would be the right decision at that time to alleviate the animal’s suffering. As for the discussions here: “Judge not, lest you be judged...”

Anushka, age: 18 / 03.12.2012

My opinion is that you did everything right. On the contrary, you helped the animal. Who knows how long this cat would still lie there and suffer. You simply eased his suffering. So there is no need to blame yourself. You did well and you HELPED him.

Andrey, age: 26 / 12/08/2012

Richat, hello. Sorry that I am writing you my response almost a year later. I hope you read it. Sorry that I once judged you. There is such a thing as euthanasia. Only it is prohibited. You know, it’s better to pick up a kitten and warm it up! And no one has the moral right to condemn what you did, because we are all human, and none of us is sinless. And I also had no right to condemn you, especially since you realized. I ask your forgiveness. And you, too, try to find the strength to forgive yourself. It’s better to go to church or a mosque one more time (if you are a Muslim) than to ruin and torment yourself like this. Feed homeless animals and, if possible, give them a home. God help you!

Aikosha, age: almost 36 / 05/28/2013

Yes, and more. I think if you took the cat to the veterinarian, who knows: maybe what Annushka wrote about her friend would have happened when he took the dog to the veterinarian. So no one has the right to judge you.

Miss Ai, age: 36 / 06/04/2013

Richat, I want to give you advice that I was recently given, but, however, for a different situation: free yourself through forgiveness, forgive yourself, the past no longer exists, as well as the future, because the past has already passed and the future has not yet arrived. If you are following this story, write how you are doing now. I hope you have managed? I am sure you will and everything will be fine in your life.

no matter, age: 36 / 07/16/2013

I’ll try to give you some advice. You know, Richat, we all do something in life that we can’t forgive ourselves for a long time! In any case, many of us are familiar with this feeling.. Try to learn a lesson from this ambiguous situation and draw the right conclusions. You are not a terrible person, you are the same as everyone else. You just committed an act that you could not forgive yourself, you stumbled, as they say. Try to pull yourself together and move on. The past cannot be corrected. What is done is done. Forgive yourself and try to fill your life with something useful: for example, you can help elderly people at church, feed homeless animals on the street, etc. You can consider various options. And you will see for yourself how your life will take on a new meaning in the future. And do not listen to those who condemn you. Only God can judge you, not people. And you have already realized your action, repented and agree to this , not every person is capable. But God, Richat, has already forgiven you a long time ago. A sinner is not the one who sinned, but the one who, having sinned, did not repent. God does not want us all to walk under the yoke of endless guilt and self-flagellation. Fill out your life with a new meaning. And, if you wish, pick up a kitten, such an unfortunate one, you know, love him and see how much love he will give you and make your life much happier! Sorry that I am writing my response so late. God help you, Richat! I hope you read my lines and my response will help you in some way)

site guest, age: 36 / 08/15/2013

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Emotional experiences of a person when losing a pet

When a beloved animal dies, a person alternately feels a whole range of negative emotions, and all these experiences can be divided into several stages. Each person experiences grief in their own way, but almost all people go through these stages when they lose a dog or cat:

1. Negation. In the first few minutes, hours or days, the owner of the animal cannot believe in the death of his pet, and it seems to him that everything that is happening is a bad dream that should end soon. At this time, a person does not cry or suffer; his emotions and perceptions are dulled.
2. Anger and guilt. Usually the first feelings after realizing a loss are anger, anger, resentment and guilt. Anger at the injustice of the universe, anger at the veterinarian/other family members and oneself, and guilt over not rescuing a beloved dog or cat.
3. Hope for a miracle. After the anger and resentment have subsided, in the souls of people who were especially attached to their four-legged pets, hope appears that a miracle will happen and their beloved dog or cat will be resurrected. Children especially hope for a miracle, and it is not uncommon for a child who has lost his pet to pray to God asking him to return his pet.
4. Melancholy. Realizing that a miracle will not happen and the pet cannot be returned, a person begins to feel sadness and blues. The time that was previously allocated for walks and playing with the animal is now wasted, and the soul is filled with a feeling of hopelessness and sadness. A person constantly remembers his departed pet, is in a bad mood and often does not pay due attention to everyday affairs.
5. Adoption. Sooner or later, the pain recedes, and the person, having accepted and come to terms with the fact of the death of a pet, continues to live, gradually returning to everyday life with its joys and worries.

How to help your child cope with the loss of a pet

It can be very difficult for adults to lose a pet, but children usually do not know at all how to cope with this, how to survive the death of a beloved animal. The experiences of children older than 2-3 years are more serious and last longer. In prolonged grief, a sensitive child, like an adult, may need the help of a psychologist.

Close relationships with children, the care and ability of parents to influence the course of their child’s thoughts make the intervention of a specialist unnecessary. Try to explain what happened in words understandable to the child, depending on the degree of attachment to the cat and emotionality.

All the advice for an adult in the moment of grief from the loss of a pet applies to children. Only parents need to be able to correctly explain this to their child, so that what happened becomes simply a life experience for him. Common grief should bring family members together, not divide them.

It will be right if the child or children can cry and talk it out in front of you. You will be able to understand children and answer the child’s questions based on their age. If a child develops health or behavior problems or sleep disturbances after this loss, you need to be especially attentive and patient with him.

Assess the need to visit a specialist. Perhaps your child's shock is too much for you to handle on your own. A child psychologist can give the necessary advice specifically in your case.

You should not tell your child about euthanizing an animal if you made such a decision and saw no other way out. It is better to prevent the possibility of aggression - towards the parents or the veterinarian who gave the injection. Even teenagers sometimes cannot understand and accept the reasons for adults’ decisions. If you do decide to talk about euthanasia, prepare for this conversation. Try to explain in a child-friendly language what kind of suffering your cat experienced. Tell us how long this suffering could last. In the case of a long-term illness of the animal, before euthanasia, you have time to prepare the child for the loss of a pet so that it is easier for him to cope with the death of his beloved cat. Read a story on this topic or tell your child in an accessible form why your pet will soon leave you, try to explain the inevitability.

The child must learn to cope with such losses. Find him some activities, hobbies, distract him with walks, reading, games together.

The emptiness in the soul that arises after the departure of a loved and familiar being will not go away immediately, but it will be easier to endure and fill by actively engaging in new, unusual activities.

Don’t brush off conversations about your favorite animal and your child’s questions. Your goal is not to forget, but to stop acutely perceiving the pain of loss and come to terms with it.

Treatment of psychological trauma

With psychological trauma, the statement is true: time is the best healer. Indeed, over time, the grief experienced loses its relevance, the person returns to the usual rhythm of life. However, for many contemporaries, the process of recovery from psychological trauma is very difficult. Or, instead of achieving the desired balance, a person ends up with real neurotic or mental disorders that require treatment.

All people, without exception, who have experienced a psychotraumatic situation, need to seek medical help if the experience of psychological trauma persists for more than three months. Clear signs of the need for treatment are:

• depressed state and melancholy mood;
• thoughts about the futility of life and ideas about death;
• obsessive fear of loneliness;
• total fear of death;
• irrational anxiety, anticipation of an inevitable catastrophe;
• insomnia or insomnia;
• uncontrollable outbursts of aggression;
• chronic pain in the absence of organic disease;
• loss of strength and other manifestations of asthenia;
• sexual dysfunction;
• panic attacks;
• signs of anorexia or bulimia;
• psychosensory disorders: depersonalization and derealization;
• pronounced memory lapses;
• motor excitement;
• violation of social adaptation;
• the emergence of obsessive forms of behavior.

It is necessary to urgently begin treatment of psychological trauma if a person demonstrates suicidal behavior or has developed harmful addictions: alcoholism, substance abuse, uncontrolled use of pharmacological drugs.

Depending on the essence of the psychological trauma, the symptoms demonstrated, and the stage of development of the neurotic disorder, the method of psychotherapeutic treatment is chosen. Good results in treating the consequences of psychological trauma are shown by:

• cognitive behavioral psychotherapy;
• Gestalt therapy;
• neurolinguistic programming;
• psychosuggestive therapy;
• methods of provocative therapy.

It should be borne in mind that in a state of stress an individual cannot provide himself with the necessary help. Therefore, in times of crisis, adequate, competent, targeted assistance from an experienced specialist is extremely important. The insidiousness of psychological trauma is that its consequences may not be noticeable immediately, but after decades. At the same time, the depth of the impact of stress factors may lie outside the sphere of consciousness, and the presence of a real problem may be invisible to a non-specialist. Psychological assistance, and, if necessary, treatment, will allow you to overcome psychological trauma more quickly and minimize the risk of developing a dangerous mental disorder.

Why do animals leave home before they die?

A frequently asked question: Why does a cat or dog try to leave the house before it dies? Under no circumstances should animals be humanized. They do this unconsciously; trying to leave the house is not at all a concern for the psychological state of the owner. So that he does not suffer, does not worry, does not cry. The action is rather instinctive. Animals are looking for a place of solitude and tranquility, as was originally intended in their natural wild environment.

If your cat or dog is looking for a place to go, fussing, veterinarians, of course, will recommend not touching the animal, not trying to calm it down - this will still not be of any use, but also not letting it out, giving them the opportunity to do as they want instincts. A lost, weakened animal can get into trouble. It’s best to take him to the clinic; perhaps you need some urgent help; competent veterinarians will be able to sort it out.

Cat mysticism

Cats are known to be natural psychics. They heal, predict weather and earthquakes, and discover new abilities in people. Great importance is also attached to how the cat passed away. It’s one thing if death occurred due to natural causes: old age, illness, accident. And it’s a completely different matter when a cat died suddenly, for no apparent reason. People prone to mysticism see here witchcraft, corruption, overwhelming human emotions and the influence of otherworldly forces.

Since ancient times, cats have been attributed magical properties.

It has been known since ancient times that cats do not die where they live. Anticipating their death, they try to hide away from prying eyes, closer to the other world. Neither scientists nor astrologers can explain this fact.

Signs about the place of death of a cat

It was considered a very bad omen if a cat died at home; it was assumed that in this case the owners would face troubles, illness and even death. In our age of closed doors, when most domestic cats never leave their apartments in their lives, this ominous omen loses its relevance, and the death of a cat brings only sadness to the owners. In addition, now a completely opposite sign has appeared: a cat that dies in the house takes misfortune away from the family. Furry friends protect the peace of their owners: they cleanse the energy of the home, ward off the evil eye, and extinguish negativity directed at the family.

According to legends, after death a cat protects the house from misfortunes