Theft
This is one of the funniest stories that happened to my cat. A large and fluffy gray cat, Gena, lives at home. We let him out for a walk, but he usually doesn't go far from home.
In the evenings I usually run around the village to keep myself in shape. During one of my runs, I found my cat almost at the other end of the village. I was very surprised that he had gone so far and decided to bring him home. She grabbed Gena in her arms and carried her towards the house. He behaved very strangely, constantly struggled and even hissed at me a couple of times. It was extremely difficult to carry him: firstly, he was very heavy, and secondly, he kept trying to jump off his hands. Once he succeeded, I grabbed him again and continued my difficult journey home.
When I got there, I locked him in the house and continued training. When I returned, I was greeted by a stunned mother, who told me that we now have two identical cats at home, one of which clearly wants to leave. It turned out that the cat I was dragging across the entire village was not ours, but in the dark I didn’t notice it. Moreover, even in the light he looked very much like our Gena. It turns out that I stole someone else's cat and brought it to my home. We had to write to the village chat and find out whose pet I had stolen by mistake. Fortunately, the owners were quickly found, and we returned the cat home.
Kari Shea, unsplash
Funny stories about cats and dogs
"Ungrateful Cat"
For a long time we had only one pet, a ginger cat named Lisa, but then my wife brought an abandoned puppy into the house, which quickly grew into a well-fed large dog. The fox really didn’t like him, and this dislike was mutual. Fortunately, there were no fights; most often our favorites simply ignored each other. It was like this until the ill-fated day when our Fox found himself on the verge of life and death.
The fact is that the purr decided that a new device in the house (“dryer”) was installed for her. So she climbed in there, and my wife, not noticing the mustachioed one, decided to use the device for its intended purpose, turned it on and went out to run errands. A few minutes later, the dog, sitting under the bathroom door, began barking, as it seemed to me for no reason.
It took me a while to figure out what was going on in the bathroom, but fortunately it was not too late for Lisa. The dog saved her life, and do you know how the cat reacted to this? After that, she began to hiss at her savior. What an ungrateful animal.
"Mutually beneficial relationship"
When we decided to move in with our common-law spouse, we spent a long time deciding whether to get a dog or a cat. I am for cats, and my husband is a dog lover. Ultimately, we decided to take two pets at our own risk. To our great happiness, the dog and cat became friends. Moreover, in the summer they became one real team: the dog learned to open the refrigerator, his girlfriend got inside, threw food off the shelves for him, took the vacated space there, and went to rest, escaping the heat.
"I changed my mind"
I adore cats, in particular, my cat Achi, which my wife, a dog lover, is not happy with. The three of us live together and I am happy with this life. One day, however, my wife raised the topic of the need to purchase a dog. Like, the cat doesn’t make her happy, she needs to buy a Pomeranian. Naturally, I was not ready for this, and probably neither was my Achi.
For the sake of saving the mustachioed striped one, I resorted to a trick. I asked my wife if she would be ready to go for a walk with the dog every day, they say, I’m not going to do that. She naturally promised to be a good housewife. Then I suggested that she get tested. I say:
– Go out into the yard every morning and evening. “Walk” there for 40 minutes, you don’t have to do anything, you can just stand. If you can stand it like this for a week, so be it, Achi and I will accept a dog into the family.
My wife hasn’t wanted a dog for three days now.
“The neighbor’s food tastes better”
My cat is capricious when it comes to food. At home, he didn’t like anything I offered him. I kept wondering how he survives if he eats almost nothing. And he looks well-fed and happy, how can this be. Only a few months later the neighbors informed me that my pet was coming to them to eat dog food. After that I started buying one for him to take home. And what do you think? At home he doesn’t touch it, the furry impudent guy continues to visit his neighbors. I had little choice, so I started buying food for kind people so that my mustachioed and striped dog wouldn’t eat them.
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Stesha the cat and the secret room
I have a cat, Stesha, who usually feels completely self-sufficient and rarely gets picked up. But that doesn’t stop my whole family from loving her very much. One day we went to visit our friends, and Stesha was left at home alone. Here it is necessary to clarify that the cat always meets us in the corridor when we return. When we arrived home this time, the cat did not greet us. Of course, we became wary and decided to call her, but no one responded.
After a couple of hours, we realized that Stesha was still nowhere to be found and decided to look for her. We searched the whole house, but the cat was never found. We have already started to get seriously worried because sometimes she tries to run outside when the door is open. We thought she might have jumped out of the house while we were leaving. Searches on the street were also unsuccessful. Until late at night we tried to find our favorite. As a result, we went to bed and decided to try again in the morning.
Paul Hanaoka, unsplash
Funny stories with cats and cats
"Starving"
My grandmother told me this story. At one time she lived with a cat and a cat, completely lazy and spoiled. Despite the opportunity, while enjoying village life, to hunt for mice and birds, they never did this, because they knew that they would always be fed not just anything, but chicken meat. True, they still had their own quirks... One day my grandmother decided to take a bucket of waste to the compost, took it, went out into the yard, looked - and her neighbor came to her. They started chatting and then suddenly they asked their grandmother:
– What do you feed the cats?
Well, she answers honestly:
- Meat, the whole freezer is filled with it.
- It seems to me that you are starving them.
The grandmother turns towards the bucket and sees a cat nearby gnawing on a cabbage stalk, and the cat feasting on potato skins. This “oil painting” impressed the owner of the pampered purrs.
"Promotion"
"Spartan"
In the morning, getting ready for work, I took things out of the closet. Before leaving, I needed to look into the room again, and I saw that the closet door had been pushed to the side. I thought that I forgot to close it completely, closed it immediately, ran away... In the evening I was surprised at the doorstep, the cat did not come out to greet me. I call her - silence. The windows are closed, the doors are closed - the purring is nowhere to be found. I think I'll change clothes and continue my search.
I open the closet, there is a rustling from below... I observe the following picture - the cat is backing up, getting out of the narrow, narrow space between the shoe boxes. She stood there, it turns out, the whole day. Well, a real Spartan. After that, by the way, she slept for a long time, apparently tired.
“Everything for your beloved mustachioed pets”
My neighbor on the landing is, to put it mildly, a strange man. He had a cat, which he regularly let out for a walk outside. He even made a hole at the bottom of the door for her. So, probably, he was less bothered by the fact that the purr had to be released and allowed into the house on its own. Before I had time to get used to this hole in the neighbor’s door, another one appeared nearby, but much smaller in size. I ask my neighbor:
- Listen, why did you cut out the second one?
- So I also got a kitten.
Probably no one tries as hard for their mustachioed pets as he does.
Missing socks
When I moved from my parents to a rented apartment, I immediately thought about buying a cat to make it more fun. The cat quickly came to me, and we began to live together. For a couple of weeks everything was great: he purred, was cuddled, ran and played with toys. But then I noticed one strange thing: all my socks were disappearing somewhere.
Moreover, at first I thought that I was losing them myself and didn’t even suspect my cat. This story with socks went on for quite a long time, I was even forced to buy several new pairs, because my accumulation of socks was rapidly coming to an end.
Many of my friends already knew that I have an abnormal apartment where socks disappear. A couple of months later, when I had already bought a bunch of new socks, which were also disappearing, I noticed the culprit of my torment. My cat walked away from the sock basket with his new victim in his mouth and then crawled under the bed. I was shocked.
Mikhail Vasilyev, unsplash
I immediately crawled under the bed and... oh God! I found all my missing socks there. They lay in a huge pile, next to which a furry thief stretched out. I raked out all my socks and even counted them: during this time, my cat managed to steal 23 socks. The socks themselves had to be put away in the closet so as not to have to crawl under the bed for them every time.
Injured dog
My funny story with a cat happened at the dacha. Every summer and on weekends, my family and I get together and go to the dacha to spend time in nature. We also take the cat with us every time, but we don’t let it go outside so that it doesn’t run away.
On one of these trips, we, as always, sat on the veranda and chatted. The window in the kitchen was open, so the cat was able to get out through it. At first we didn't even notice her. It was a beautiful warm May evening, and there were no signs of trouble. Suddenly we heard the heart-rending screams of our neighbor, who was shouting something from her site.
The screams were so terrible that we simply could not help but pay attention to them. We rushed to the fence to find out what was going on. The fence separating our areas is made of thin iron rods, so everything is clearly visible. As we ran up, we saw her small white dog, reminiscent of a Chihuahua. Only she was not completely white, almost all of her fur was stained with some kind of dirt. And between the bars in the fence our cat was already returning to her home.
Malek Dridi, unsplash
Funny stories about cats.
For a list of all stories about cats, cats, kittens and other animals published on the site, see here.
And on pages………………..11………………..
Hell of a sight.
A young couple purchased an electric fireplace for their home. This one is for the interior. It doesn't heat up, but it's beautiful. The fake coals are illuminated with red light, and a small flame smokes. All this is done so well that you can’t tell it from real coals until you try it with your hand. Artificial of course. In short, the sight was beautiful and calming. And it was, because their cat quickly realized that it was nice to lie on fake coals, they were warm, they were heated by light bulbs from below. And now imagine yourself in the place of the person who came to visit. Go into the room, and there, on the smoldering coals in the fireplace, the cat is roasting. Hell of a sight!
Emergency cat help.
They gave the schoolgirl a birthday present, her parents gave her an aquarium with fish, and her older brother gave her a kitten. Well, it turned out that they didn’t coordinate their actions. The kitten quickly settled into his new home and loved watching the fish. He could lie near the aquarium for hours without making any attempt to remove the fish from their habitat. Although I really respected fish in the form of food. One day the father of the family brought a catch from fishing. The fish is fresh, some are still fluttering. Large fish in a frying pan, and small fish, about the size of a finger, in a bowl for the cat. After some time, the owner enters the room with the aquarium, sees a couple of fish floating with their belly up and a kitten on the aquarium. The cat jumped to the floor and ran to the kitchen. The owner, of course, decided that the cat had opened the fishing season, following his example in the aquarium. He also ran to the kitchen for the prankster to punish and wean him off. And the kitten, running up to its bowl, grabs a small fish with its mouth, runs to the aquarium and throws it into the water. This is such an ambulance.
Cat and hot cutlet
My friends had a cat named Vaska. The thief is scary. One of those who will not miss what is theirs, especially if it lies poorly and lies unguarded. Somehow the hostess decided to roll up the cutlets and fry them. I minced the minced meat and began the process of frying the cutlets. The cat, of course, was hanging around in the kitchen. I waited until the cutlets started to lie badly. In short, the hostess was distracted by the doorbell. She quickly rushed into the hallway, let her husband into the house, and without hesitation returned to the kitchen. And he sees that in the bowl with just fried cutlets, one is missing. Vaska sits on the floor, faithfully and without wine looking into his eyes. The woman understands that he couldn’t eat a hot cutlet in a few seconds. While she was trying to figure out where he was taking her, the cat began to move its butt in an unnatural way. Then, barking loudly, he ran out of the kitchen. It turns out that he, without having time to hide the prey, simply sat on it. Yes, you can’t sit on a cutlet just removed from the frying pan for long.
Cat's happiness.
The cat came home in the morning, all dirty, tattered, his ear was torn. Mistress, immediately lubricate his wounds, fuss, take pity and kiss the poor fellow. And the husband looks at all this disgrace and says: “Well, why do you feel sorry for him and lament him?” The cat wandered around wherever he wanted all night, screaming songs and having sex. Then he fought for his own pleasure. Then he came home all satisfied and happy. I wish I could!!!
Cat without borders.
We bought a new apartment, well, not entirely new, a resale apartment. But the area is larger, closer to work. The former owners purchased housing using the same scheme. And in the same block, literally two houses away from us. Well, we moved, arranged the furniture, and celebrated. In the morning, the demanding cat meow wakes me up. I open my eyes, the cat is sitting next to the bed. Seeing that I woke up, he went straight to the kitchen. And he stops and looks around to see if I’m following him. She poured him milk and cut off some sausages. While I was performing all these actions, I woke up completely and asked the question - in general, where is the cat here from? We never had cats. When we moved into the apartment, there were naturally only bare walls. There is no place to hide. I looked at the door, it was closed. But the balcony was not closed at night, and apparently the cat climbed a tree growing next to the house and jumped from it onto the balcony. My husband and I decided that most likely this was the animal of the former owners. My husband called them and it turned out that way. The cat safely moved with them to a new living space, went for a walk in the evening, and returned to the old address in the morning. In general, the owners arrived and took their pet. Well, in the morning I was woken up again by the persistent meowing of the cat, and I realized that the cat was not going to move out.
Fire.
At the end of autumn, my daughter brought a kitten into the house. Red, fluffy and very nimble. Based on the totality of these testimonies, they called it Fire. It took about six months to realize that his name was not chosen well. Spring came, and the whole family went to the dacha. The cat immediately ran to explore the surroundings. By evening we were worried, the cat was missing, maybe it was lost. Everyone went together to look for him and call him. The cat came, but what was the reaction of the neighbors...
Compensation.
My neighbor in the country had a cat, Murzik. Quite healthy, but very lazy cat. He lived with her for eight years. In principle, I didn’t catch mice, well, I just didn’t catch one in my entire cat life. Like a good neighbor, he often came to visit me on the veranda. Of course, I caressed him, stroked him, scratched him behind the ear. And so we lived, season after season. But this summer there was a breakdown in our relationship with Murzik. I bought salmon, put it on the veranda and went into the house for something, I don’t even remember, and stayed late. I go out, and Murzik, the parasite, is already eating up this fish. By the way, in fairness, it should be noted that he had not been noticed for theft at all before. Well, of course I got angry and yelled at him. And he, with a very offended face, went to his area. About 20 minutes later the neighbor left the house. Well, I told her about Murzik’s tricks. The truth was no longer angry, so they laughed. And suddenly, my neighbor points behind my back and says, look, look. And there is Murzik, dragging a mouse into my area in his teeth. He came up, laid me at my feet and looked at me so disapprovingly. Like: “Choke on it, it was worth yelling!” His owner and I had a good laugh at his compensation. Well, only he doesn’t come to my station anymore, he doesn’t come to visit me, he’s severely offended. But I hope that it will go away.
Bruce Lee
Bruce Lee did not remember his childhood. And this is correct, since his childhood was difficult and full of adversity. At the age of about one and a half months, he was treacherously taken away from his own mother and taken to another family. But, despite these adversities, Bruce grew up as a strong guy, ahead of his peers in development. At the age of one, he weighed 14-15 kilograms, was not childishly smart and was about a meter tall, with a tail of course. I must say that Bruce is a cat, a cross between a Maine Coon and someone else. With increased fluffiness and impudence. Living with my friends, a married couple - Lyoshka and Lena. He received his nickname for his ability to use all four paws in battle. And also for the love of running on the carpet on the wall, curtains, jumping on the chandelier and other kung fu techniques. He ignored the cat's litter box, showing with all his appearance that he had long since outgrown the potty. I went strictly to the toilet. This, of course, does not equate him with people, but the fact that he sometimes forgot to pull behind himself is already human. The cat preferred to sleep in his “parents’” bed, right between them. And he didn’t care at all what they were doing there. And so, in the summer, when the cat was already one and a half years old, Lyoshka took him and Lena to the dacha. At the dacha, Bruce did not waste time. In just an hour, he explored his plot and the plots of his neighbors. In passing, he beat three neighbor cats, who considered themselves the rightful owners of the surrounding area. As the winner, he made a date with the former passions of these cats, devoured half of the fish stocks that were taken for him for a week and fell into bed on the master's bed. Having woken up at night and finding that the door was locked and the windows were closed, he began to demand freedom of movement. A cat-like scream, reproaching the owner for ruining his date. Lyoshka, who woke up, went to let out into the street “a lustful beast, the same as all the men,” according to the words of his awakened wife. The couple had just fallen asleep when they were awakened by persistent knocking on the door and the cat’s screams. Bruce asked to go home. Cursing and cursing the creature who clearly did not come to the date, “as unnecessary as all the women,” Lyoshka let the cat into the house. Bruce, according to a long-established habit, plopped down between his adoptive parents. - Where is this coming from? - Lena asked. Although where, or rather from whom and with what, it was clear. - Bruce probably joined somewhere, but not the Komsomol! - Lyoshka said and turned on the light. The word entered, however, just like got into trouble, clearly did not fit the given situation. The cat was lying on a snow-white sheet, covered to the very skin... with the very thing that stank. And, from the bed to the door there was a delicious chain of footprints, with a fat stripe from the tail. His habit of going to the toilet let him down. He fell into a hole in the country toilet of the toilet system. Well, at least you don’t drown, you fool. The next young family washed the bedding, floors and cat. I came to visit them a couple of days after these events. When Lyoshka told me this story, he sniffed the air all the time and periodically asked: “It smells, no?” No, it didn't smell anymore.
Is life not the same without a cat?
A friend asked me to stay with her for two weeks and look after her cat while she went on vacation. Oh, my friend’s cat turned out to be completely choleric. In the morning, leaving for work, I let Kuzya, that’s the name of this bandit, out onto the street. All day long, the cat amused himself by fighting all the yard cats and dogs. Regardless of their size and breed. When I returned from work in the evening, he was waiting for me at the door and with a loud meow, no, he didn’t ask, but demanded something edible. One day, I bought myself a box of dumplings, and this monster, smelling them, attacked the bag and began to devour the dumplings, gnawing through the bag and the cardboard box. And on the first day of my stay in a friend’s apartment, I made a mistake and decided to wash myself in the bathroom. As soon as she lay down in the foam, a wild roar was heard outside the door. And then, I made a second mistake, I opened the door. I couldn’t even understand what it was that flew into my bathroom and plopped into the water. I myself retreated from there in horror. Well, Kuzya frolicked and swam in the bathroom for another fifteen minutes. After this incident, I only took a shower. Before my friend returned from vacation, I, as expected, cleaned the whole apartment, licked it, one might say. But a pigeon sat on the railing of the balcony. This dinosaur, Kuzya, noticed the pigeon and decided to catch it, despite the closed windows, knocking out both windows with acceleration. And, when a friend asked me to look after her cat, I thought why her parents, sweet, good, wonderful and sympathetic people, outright refused this offer.
Buy food!
It so happened that we were covered, although not large, but still by a black financial streak. We decided to save a little money. And if you save, then save for everyone, including the cat. In general, we switched him from canned cat food to natural food. I filled his bowl with soup, even with meat. The cat looked disapprovingly at this, in his cat’s opinion of course, gastronomic perversion, then looked at me in surprise and said: “Meow.” Like: “Am I supposed to eat this?” I answered him: “Yes, eat this, there is no money for your canned food!” The cat “buried” its bowl in disgust and crawled under the sofa. A couple of seconds later, a coin worth ten rubles flew out from under the sofa, sent with a powerful blow from a cat’s paw.
Flying cat.
This story was told on some TV show. In short, in one village there lived a priest and he had a cat. And then one day the priest comes out of the house, and his pet is sitting on a tree. Either the dogs drove him in, or he himself, for some cat’s needs, climbed the birch tree - this, in general, is not the point and is important. Only the cat was screaming pitifully on the tree, but he refused to crawl down, he was afraid. With cats, this often happens. The compassionate father could not calmly wait for the cat to get tired of complaining about his fate and still come down to earth. Well, the priest didn’t think about the fact that no one had ever seen a cat’s skeleton on a tree. He decided to tie a rope to the tree and bend the birch tree with the help of a car, and then either the cat would jump off on its own, or he would take it off. That’s what I did, but the rope turned out to be thin and burst at the moment when the birch tree almost touched the ground. An excellent catapult came out. The cat disappeared behind the neighboring huts. And in this village lived a mother with a young daughter, who had long asked her parent to get a cat. And she still refused. And on this day, the child again started the old song about the need for a representative of the cat family to live in the house. And take your mother and blurt out: “And you, ask God, and if he gives you a cat, then so be it.” The girl, as best she could, let’s pray and ask God to send her a cat. And at that moment, the priest's cat flew into the window. The mother fainted, the cat was shocked but safe, the child was happy. And who, after this, can say that it was not God who sent her a cat?
New Year's traditions.
It just so happened that the New Year celebration was completely wrong, not in the Russian way, not traditionally. We sat decorously, peacefully, and drank a little. No one screamed songs, no banged firecrackers, and no one even fell asleep in the salad. Everyone left early, and no one went to the Christmas tree. Well, I went and went to bed. My wife and I did not clear the table. An hour later I decided to go and drink some mineral water, came out of the bedroom and saw: our cat was sleeping on the table, lying with his face stuffed in a fish salad. How warm and pleasant my soul felt. At least someone in the family honors and observes New Year's traditions.
Bandit couple.
Some friends offered us a dog. We picked her out of the kindness of our hearts, but there is no way to support her, constant business trips. At that time we had a cat, Fluff. Healthy, half-Siberian, fighting cat. But we still decided to take the dog. Alma, as the dog was named, was still a young Caucasian Shepherd. But in what form! Thin, shabby, skin and bones. Fluff, despite the fact that the dog, although underfed, is much larger than him, decided to show her who is the authority and master in the house. In short, poor Alma spent several days basically living, or rather existing, under the closet. How did it fit there? Fluff periodically walked near the closet and growled at the poor dog, letting her know with all his appearance that he had never torn such people to shreds. But time passes, the rummaging of the closet slowly stopped, and one day Fluff brought Alma a measuring piece of sausage. In short, they huddled together and began, as they say, without spilling water. Alma has fattened up, gained weight, her fur is shiny, it’s nice to look at. When Alma was taken out for a walk, Fluffy walked next to her. And if they let the dog off the leash, then the cat would lead in and beckon it somewhere with its “meow” all the time. And Alma, it’s normal, where the cat goes, so does she. Since then, Fluff has become the coolest cat in the yard. And try, what a mongrel, bark at him when such a car accompanies him from behind. But one day, this couple, naturally led by the cat, ran off somewhere from the yard. We even started to worry. But after a couple of hours they returned, with Alma carrying a decent piece of beef in her teeth. A few days later, I met a friend of mine who told me an interesting story. Near his house, on the street, some cooperators were selling meat. I forgot to say, this happened in the nineties, when spontaneous markets were on every corner. So, at first, some impudent cat was hanging around the boxes with pieces of meat, which was naturally scared away. But, after him, a Caucasian shepherd dog came, grabbed a rather frail piece of meat and slowly left, accompanied by that impudent cat. The sellers only had enough time to shout: “Who is the owner of the dog? Disgrace!”, and so on. There were no heroes to take away meat from a Caucasian Shepherd. Well, at our small family council we decided that we need to be more careful in letting Alma go “free swimming”, and in general we need to control this gangster couple.
Not a grateful beast.
As everyone knows, cats and dogs are not very friendly, but they get along quite well under the same roof. They simply pretend not to notice each other, trying not to cross their paths. In short, this is military neutrality. In one simple city apartment, there also lived a cat and a dog. Well, as expected, their Cold War proceeded sluggishly. There were two bowls in the kitchen, in one for the cat whiskey, and in the other, respectively, pedigree for the dog, the animals ate at the same time, but with such an air as if there was no enemy, not only in the kitchen, but in general in nature there is no exists. Periodically, of course, during unexpected and unplanned collisions, the dog growled, as befits a cat, and she hissed menacingly in response. Everything is as it should be. But, one day, the owner, at the urgent request of his wife, purchased an electric dryer. The cat, like all cats, considered that this purchase was made only for her needs and decided to sleep in it. The owner, not suspecting anything wrong, turned on the unit and, of course, left. After some period of time, the dog, who did not feel love at all, what is there love, even friendly feelings for the cat, apparently decided that the Middle Ages with its bells and whistles was already too much. He burst into frantic barking and began jumping near the devilish machine. Well, he’s not an inquisitor, after all. The owners, of course, realized what their dog wanted, but they didn’t understand why. They opened the dryer and almost got a visit from Kondraty. And here is the cat, an ungrateful creature, and continues to hiss at the dog.
Uninvited guests
We live in a private house in the Moscow region, and, of course, we have both a cat and a dog. The dog lives on the street, and the cat lives in the house. But we let her out for walks, and sometimes she disappears for the whole day. So that she can always return home, we leave her an open window, which she jumps into.
Erik-Jan Leusink, unsplash
- Author: Anastasia Glukhikh
